Sex With An Ex

From time to time, we all get lonely. The best laid plans fall through, and as humans we desperately need human touch. So when nothing else is panning out, and we are in dire need, oftentimes, we turn to what is most familiar. All it takes is a stroll down memory lane (that does not include the bickering & fighting) to spark a haphazard reunion. Like an old habit that has been dormant, it never ceases to amaze me how easy it can be to dig up your security blanket and wrap yourself in it when the world has been unkind.

Even though many times there is nothing more to it than just comfort, other times there are hidden agendas that are unearthed. After one of my exes continued to seek "comfort" on a regular basis, I questioned him as to why and how he could want to continue that way. He explained to me that although he enjoyed my company, he did not want to make the effort to have a real relationship. After that revelation, I realized that there is a difference between leaning on someone & using someone. Strangely enough, even though he wanted no commitment, he did various things to indicate that he wanted much more than just a casual relationship. He wanted to be in my life, but did not want to work for his position. He honestly thought that if he could satisfy my itches that needed to be scratched, he would seal his placement.

When I begin to date a new guy, I am always curious to know what their relationship is with their ex. And because I've backslid before, I know what to look for. It's a little tricky because often there is no relationship at all with the ex. And even if they say they can't stand their ex, that means nothing. Don't let that fool you though because, again, all it takes is a few seconds to dial or send a text that can set off a chain of events that lead to the ultimate "oops". Loneliness is like hunger. When that feeling hits you, you may not be able to think straight enough to stick to your guns.

Honestly, there is no way to tell if a person will ever have a slip up. Our exes may hold special places in our hearts. There may be no explanation as to why or how. And if the stars are properly aligned and circumstances permit, you may wake up and find your past laying next to you. Only you can decide if the past is where you want your heart to be. Is a band aid better than an open heart? Things can get really messy, and if you aren't sure about how you feel, you need to get clear before you play with fire. Sex with an ex can be a temporary solution to loneliness, but ultimately end up costing us a lot more than we ever bargained for. Proceed with caution!