Although I am playing the numbers game as far as dating, I have not had that many serious relationships. I have been in love many times, but I do not ever recall thinking that I'd found my "Soul Mate" until my last relationship.As awful as some aspects of that relationship were, I remembered thinking that I had never been happier. It was not about love or sex, but the sense of familiarity and comfort that peaked and never dwindled over such a long period of time. There was an intimacy that went beyond the physical and it is hard for me, even now, to put it in a category with any other relationship. I still believe that relationship helped define me as a person more so than any other.
So when it does not work out with your "Soul Mate" what do you do? Since you can not just shrivel up and die or give up, you have to keep going. I believe that there is a such thing as a "Soul Mate" and that they are made perfectly for you. There is not even the slightest alteration or persuasion that is necessary when dealing with them. There is growth, and love, and you overcome challenges together.
What I can now appreciate about that relationship is that it helped me define the things that constitute being my "Soul Mate". And where I used to focus on all of the things that bonded us together, it was really the things that broke us apart that needed to be noted. Those little things were not so small. In fact, they were big enough to break us away from each other. They were the very indicators that he was NOT my "Soul Mate". Close...but not quite. After many years of holding those characteristics close to me, I realize it is time to let them go in order to get the whole package from someone else. See, it's knowing that someone can come so close that reinforces my belief that if you hold out for who is right for you, you can have the happiness you want. If you occupy your time with someone who you know is not the one, you may never find out if it gets any better.
I am not saying to jump ship at the first sign of trouble, but there are some things that we know can not be changed. There are words that can not be unspoken and deeds that can not be undone. And even when those things happen, we may be inclined to hang on because it may be the closest thing to our ideal person that we've ever come across. And who knows, given some time and space, you may still end up with that person, but you should not have to force it take any abuse for that to happen. Finding your "Soul Mate" should be a beautiful thing for those who are looking for it...for those who believe.
As humans, we should be ever changing and always learning. That includes our souls. We need different things at different times in our lives. The person we choose to spend our lives with, the person who is made perfectly for us, will be changing and growing with us. We will not outgrow them or take them for granted. They will not just be the closest thing we've come across. And because of the bumps and bruises of the past, we will be appreciative and welcoming when they come into our lives. We will know them when we see them and there will be no question. And because their role is so important, it may take lots of patience. After all, it's their experiences in life that will make them perfect for you and they may not have learned all that they need to know in order to be perfect for you yet. The waiting is the toughest part, but there is no rushing perfection if you truly believe your "Soul Mate" is out there. And I do believe that there is a "Soul Mate" for everyone. So be patient in your pursuit and humble in your acceptance and know they are out there and made perfectly for you.
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