I remember the first time I let someone "fix me up" with a date. It was quite a while ago, & I was newly single and always complaining about it. I recall having such a hard time getting used to sleeping alone. A very good friend of mine said that she knew the perfect guy for me. I was very excited because I've known her since grade school, and we've always been close. If anyone knew my taste it was her.I proceeded to get ready for my date. When he came to the door, I found myself almost nervous. I'd picked out a hot outfit, and was ready to dazzle him with my first impression. I remember that when I opened the door I seemed to look right past him. I was looking for the guy that was said to be "perfect for me". But this guy seemed to be alone. My heart sank.
I won't go into great detail about the aesthetics, but let me just say, he was not my type at all. As a matter of fact, this man had several factors that, in my book, constituted being a deal breaker. His general appearance did not translate to being that of a man who was going on a first date. Hell, he didn't look like he was going on a date at all! When he came in, I was surprised to see that he had the drinks with him in the form of a case of beer. Did I mention, I am not a beer drinker? Anyhow, between the way he was dressed, and the way he plopped down on my sofa, I knew we weren't going anywhere.
Well, he didn't have the chance to get too comfortable because I faked an emergency with my babysitter and apologized for not being able to go. I explained that I didn't entertain at my home when my children were there, and that we would have to make it some other time. I was so proud of my quick thinking until he retorted "ok, let me call my ride"...I was outdone. After summoning a ride home with his case of beer, he finally left. Never to be seen or heard from again.
I was angry at his lack of depth, but was furious at the matchmaker! I immediately called her and asked her how she ever came to think that this guy was my type. She simply said that she thought he was cute. Let me say, this guy was not hideous. He did not smell bad, or act crazy. He was just not my type of guy. Our demeanor didn't even match. As much as I respected her opinion, and loved her as a person, it was the first time I realized, that every body's taste isn't my taste. She was picking a guy for me based on what she liked about him, and not based on me or my tastes at all. Since then I've learned not to be "fixed up" on any more dates unless the matchmaker is matching us based on our mutual likes & dislikes-as opposed to their personal opinions. Seems like such as simple detail, but one that should certainly be clarified prior to committing to anything. Who knows...I probably wasn't his type of chic either & he was thinking about how glad he was he didn't have to share his beer with the chic with the kids & the shaky babysitter. Needless to say, I never saw him again.
Since then, we've had a few good laughs about it. She blames me for complaining & I blame her for not considering me at all in that decision and then we laugh some more. It's never happened again and we have no hard feelings at all behind it...but that experience was a great lesson in blind dating. I've met some really nice guys, and even had some serious relationships with "fix ups" since then. I learned to be up front with my matchmaker. It's so important to know what your deal breakers are! And even more important to stress them to your matchmaker. And ask about what his are also...Ask questions and if they can't or won't answer them, agree to nothing! It lets the matchmaker know you are serious, and that you don't want to waste any one's time. If they are really trying to help, they will take heed to what your qualifications & expectations are, and your odds of a quality match will be much higher.
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