Is Kissing Too Intimate?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? As a girl who does not give away kisses or any of my time & affection freely, I don't understand these people who do such intimate things such as kissing people that they have no emotional connection to. I made the choice not to indulge in casual kissing because I hold it sacred. I look at it as being almost as intimate as having sex. Not just the exchange of body fluids but also the spark you feel when you close your eyes and let go...This is valuable to me. I have gathered that anything that I hold sacred tends to lose it's value the more loosely I disburse it.

In a time where oral sex is not just for married people anymore, I am looked upon as somewhat of a prude for this point of view. But this is just my point--people are doing things that used to be reserved for someone special with just anybody. Nothing is sacred. Doing it all can happen with a total stranger at any time. It's the norm. From teens to senior citizens, there is plenty of emotionless sex to be had in 2009. There are commercials for sexual enhancement drugs and stimulating gels and even condoms on television as if encouraging taking things farther, faster.

I don't let this madness influence my morals. I never thought I would be so thankful to be old school. I am proud to say that I do save quite a bit for my special guy. Otherwise, how would he feel special or different from the "tide me over" guy? Back in the day, I used to ponder over kissing on the first date. And guys certainly didn't expect to have any sort of sex with you (unless you were the neighborhood hood rat)! And back then, a man could go his whole single life without getting a decent blow job. In my day, each level of affection corresponded with a level of intimacy based on the progression of a relationship. And yes, many guys & girls lied about their level of true affection or goals for the relationship just to get laid. But the simple fact that they lied means that even through ill intentions, they knew that sex was a valuable thing.

Personally speaking, I believe we should all respect ourselves enough to draw the line and be firm on the decision to respect our bodies & boundaries. Hell, I can appreciate good sex as much as the next person, but not everybody deserves for you to pull out all of the stops for them. Not even if you want to. There is nothing wrong with being discriminating about who you are blessing with your presence. This includes your body and your mind. If not, just be ready for an endless stream of shallow relationships where you are treated as a sex object performing your perfected chore.

For some reason, I think a lot of women and young girls go all out in an effort to prove themselves to the opposite sex. They are looking for affirmation that they have some worth, even if their worth is being a sex object. I have heard some say that it is better to be wanted for that than nothing at all. Others have said that if they don't do it, he will find someone else to do it, and they don't want to lose them. It makes me sad because if they took a little time by themselves to examine all of the beautiful things about themselves, they probably wouldn't think that being alone is such a bad thing. When you focus on yourself, you find endless opportunities for perfection which spurs most people into the action of fixing & nurturing themselves. A person who is looking inward tends to hold themselves in higher esteem. They tend to strive for perfection. Not always succeeding but always making progress. They are particular about what they do with their bodies and minds. They do things to stimulate the mind, and exercise the body.

I thank my Grandmother for giving me such high self esteem & self image. She taught me early on to value even the things about myself that I hated and to thank God for the things that I liked. I was encouraged to always seek knowledge and not take just any body's word for things. I learned that in my life, my opinion was the only one that counted. So I say all this to make the point that kissing can be too intimate for relationships that aren't going anywhere. But for the ones that are romantic and passionate, I strongly encourage it. Kissing as well as any extension of yourself should be a step toward intimacy. These things should not be expected or taken for granted or given lightly. It is up to the individual to draw that line. If you don't speak up & demand respect for yourself, nobody else will.