Just Not That Into Who?

There are signs that indicate whether or not a person is interested or not. Of course there are very obvious signs like lack of attention, and evasiveness. But if a person is saying that they are interested with their mouth, why would there be any other indication to the contrary? I would like to be able to take people at face value, but too many people can't be honest with themselves let alone with another person about how they really feel.

I understand that nobody wants to put themselves out there for rejection, but acting in a nonchalant manner can give the impression of not being interested. For this reason, if I like someone, I make an effort not to give conflicting signals. Even if I want to hold back, I try to let myself go so that there is no misconception as to what I want. Contrary to what a lot of articles and books say, it is possible to do this without scaring the other person into thinking you are a stalker.

So what is to be gained by this aloofness? Saving face and playing coy can get you the boot quicker than being honest and available. I've heard many say that you don't want to be the first one in a relationship to admit how you feel, but this sounds so silly and childish to me. If you like someone why play games? Especially if there is a risk that you could lose out. And if you do not like them, why string them along? I can play games with the best of them, but I will never be able to understand how frivolous people can be with their time. If I am not feeling it, I don't waste an extra second in discomfort. And I certainly don't want the other person to believe something is going to happen that surely (in my book), will not.

At the end of the day, we are all responsible for ensuring that the impressions we make will be consistent with our true selves. Even if you do not like the person & no matter how awkward it may be, we should be adult enough to make sure that we are being up front & honest. I've played with taking the cowards way out and just avoiding people, and that never really works out. Of course you don't have to be cruel and mean, but simply admit that something just isn't right for you and politely move on. For those that want to argue or convince you, don't fall into that trap. It's just another way to try to get you to engage them. You did your civic duty by being honest, and there is nothing else required. But giving mixed signals and being wishy- washy (is that a word?) brings bad Karma and will only come back to bite you.