Can One Become "Addicted" to Dating?

While in pursuit of Mr. Right, I've found myself in a perpetual stream of dates. I remember the expression that said you may have to kiss lots of frogs before you find your prince. With that in mind, I don't get discouraged when things don't work out the way that I would like after the first few dates. Being an eternal optimist, I chalk it up and keep moving. After watching, listening, and reading my blog entries, a friend asked me if I thought that I may be addicted to dating. He even said that I may not be giving some of the "frogs" equal opportunity to become my prince because I am more intrigued by the newness of a relationship and all of the possibilities that lie ahead before you get to see some one's flaws. Once the newness wears off, he says that I seem to get bored and move on too quickly.

Who does not enjoy the honeymoon phase of relationships? I retorted that I am a fair person, but I live my life like a honeymoon. This has nothing to do with any type of fear of commitment. I take each day as an opportunity to have fun, and learn something new. I take nothing for granted and have committed wholeheartedly to past relationships. Unfortunately, a lot of people in general do not live their lives with those sentiments. Let alone, the men that I have dated. I have seen lots of human flaws and am not the type to judge someone unless those qualities are such that I can not bare to deal with on a day to day basis. I am truly an equal opportunity dater.

As far as being addicted to dating, I am. Even when in a relationship, I found that I made an effort to keep it hot & exciting. I would be fine with dating the same man over and over if we were able to keep it fun & honeymoonish. In the relationships that I have seen that have lasted the longest & where the people involved seemed most happy, those people all say that they had to work at it. I have also found this true in my longest relationships. I am totally willing to put my work in, and am only looking for someone who will do the same. Being addicted to happiness is not a crime. But being in a relationship that no longer excites you should be.

I had to wonder if my friend would have the same opinion if I waited until the relationship was already established to move on. Only because the excitement can leave at any time. If it leaves before the relationship even gets off of the ground, you would be a fool to continue. Why get more involved and invested if there are clear indications of incompatibility in the beginning? I am done with charity. Self doubt and second guessing the things that are most important to me in my relationships have only led to disaster. Of course there are many other factors in keeping a relationship together, but if you are no longer excited, all you end up doing is wandering elsewhere anyway and I am not a cheater. My friend says that there could be a man that is perfect for me in every other way, and that I should be able to "work on" creating and maintaining that excitement. I simply told him that if I need to "work on" anything during the dating stage, I may need to re-think if the person I am dating is right for me and move on to the next frog.

I was sad that my friend thinks that I take my prospects lightly. I believe that overall, most people are more good than bad. I get excited that I may be that much closer to the right one for me. It truly is a let down when I find that we aren't compatible but I can not take it personally. I have and will continue working on myself in order to be the best person I can be for my mate, but I will not compromise what really matters to me. We only get one life. As long as I have realistic expectations of what I can offer and accept, I will continue on my path until my prince is found. It is up to each individual to set their own standards. I make no apologies for loving and enjoying life and searching for someone who can do that with me on terms that I can live with. And I told him that he shouldn't either.