Let me preface by saying that I've written a few times about fix ups that did not go so well, so I thought that I'd give an example of a fix up that went well...
In one of my college courses, I met one of the funniest women ever. She was very vocal during class which normally would annoy me, but her comments were so off the wall, you just had to laugh. It was a nice way to break up the monotony, and she kept us all very entertained. We'd even hang out on the breaks, and when she needed a ride I began dropping her off at home every day. We'd become great friends.
When she offered to "hook me up" with a guy she knew, I was very skeptical. She was very different than I was, and I remembered about how other people's taste may not be your own...I remember how she kept promising to hook us up, but it took quite a while, and I'll be honest, I was less than enthused. One weekend, she asked me to go with her to meet him. To my surprise this guy was so tall, dark, and handsome it was crazy. On top of that, he just seemed like a very cool person. As usual, my friend did most of the talking, and I just kind of sat there wondering what his story could be. He was too attractive & sweet to be true. I noticed that he wasn't saying so much, but we did connect a few times during the evening. He was a good host, and when I got a call to come into work & had to leave, I was deeply disappointed and to my surprise, he was also. I promised to come back & visit him with her the following weekend and we parted ways.
On the ride back to her place she asked me what I thought, and I gave her a high five! He was very nice and down to earth. I asked about him being so quiet, and she assured me that this was just his demeanor. I found myself excited at the possibilities. After the final, we lost touch for a few weeks. I was so disappointed that I wouldn't get the chance to meet him again. Whe she resurfaced, I only spoke to her briefly, and we never set up another date to visit the mystery man.
I got a call at 3am. A man with a deep voice just said "wake up". Not being a person who loves to play games on the phone in the wee hours of the morning, I asked who he was. He just said "its your secret admirer"...I asked him again & when he repeated his prior sentence, I hung up & went back to sleep. Only to have the same banter again the next evening. The second time he gave a little more detail. He described the things he "admired" about me until I cut him off and demanded he identify himself. I threatened to hang up again. Laughing almost hysterically at my anger, he finally confessed who he really was. I was glad to hear from him again, but his approach pissed me off a little. What he said & did next is what really impressed me. He told me that he really liked me and didn't really know what to say. He explained that our mutual friend just gave him my number the day before, and he called a few times and hung up before he could work up his nerve. At first it seemed a bit creepy to me, but he seemed genuine and promised to make it up to me.
After agreeing to go out with him the first time, we became inseparable. We drank lots of champagne & talked about everything under the sun. He was hardly the quiet guy I met before. He was very encouraging to me about my talents, my career, my mothering skills, and everything. I found myself riveted at his life and was surprised how comfortable I was in telling him about my life. He was very inciteful. He saw things in me that I had yet to recognize. And he wasn't just noticing my style, he was enthusiastic about me and I loved to hear him talk because I felt the same way about him. He was so smart, and he was a little bit older and his experience made him even more attractive. He was a man that I quickly learned to respect and he respected me implicitly. He gave me some of the best advice of my life. For the first time, I learned to trust a man to lead me. I felt that he had my best interest at heart, and whatever he was saying to me was in the capacity of being an advocate for me. The way he looked after me reminded me of my father & brothers. We dated and encouraged each other for 3 years until he moved away. When I refused to move with him we parted as friends. (I think he was pissed at me than he let on because we totally lost touch.)
The point of all of this is to say that keeping an open mind is very important because being fixed up can work. I almost let my jaded perspective disuade me from even giving it a chance. We may not still be together, but I very much consider that a successful match. I was glad he came along & restored my faith that there are still good men out there who you can trust to lighten the load for you sometimes. There are men who are comfortable in the role of being the alpha male, but still are not threatened by a strong woman. Who knew he would hit the ground running and never stop? He certainly exceeded best case scenario. I was glad that I allowed myself to give him a fair shot, and even more ecstatic that he ran with the opportunity.
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